I recently had the opportunity to explore my learning in the moment during a difficult situation, which made all the difference in the world with how quickly I recovered from it.
How does a superachiever go through a difficult situation? Well, like pretty much every other thing in our lives, we set a goal. Except with this type of goal – it becomes more of an intention, an intention on our way of being while going through the difficult situation. During the recent situation I experienced, I decided that my way of being was going to be to show up with integrity, compassion, while also standing up for and respecting myself. This means that in all of my interactions with the other person involved, I would constantly remind myself of who I wanted to be in that situation.
By setting an intention on who you want to be during adversity, and constantly reminding yourself of that intention, it keeps you focused on your overall goal – to get through the adversity and learn from it – to be a better person because of it.
Setting an intention on who you want to be during an adverse situation also helps to eliminate the mental chatter that inevitably arises during a conflict – you know – those negative voices that judge you and others. Keeping your focus on the end goal while in the process reduces those little voices to background noise.
Another interesting result of engaging in this type of process is that when it’s over, there doesn’t seem to be a long recovery period. Perhaps because we take control of ourselves and our responses to external circumstances that we can’t control, we find that we can actually process the difficult situation as it’s happening, then once it’s over, we are ready to move forward in a healthy and dare I say happy manner. It’s as if a switch is flipped – we made it through, we learned while we were doing it, we processed the thoughts and emotions that occurred during the situation, and we can move on with our lives.
How are you going to prepare for the next conflict that will inevitably arise in your life (if you’re currently not in the midst of one already?) For your preparation, decide who you want to be during your next conflict – write it down and find a way to remind yourself when the conflict begins.