We’ve all made important changes in our lives at one time or another. It’s interesting how it often happens – it’s like we reach a point where we won’t accept anything less than the change and a switch is flipped – we’re done with the old life and are determined to change it. I’ve seen this with an individual suddenly (and finally) deciding to get out of a relationship that isn’t working, or a decision to lose weight, or to finally leave that seemingly dead end job or obnoxious boss. And then, of course, there are those changes that we want to make and we wish we’d somehow get to the point of that switch being flipped because we just don’t quite feel ready to cross that line and make that change. I like to consider this the twilight zone of inactivity – we’re “trying” to change rather than actually doing it.
Let me explain – if you try to do something, it may or may not happen. You’re also mentally giving yourself an out if you fail at it. You didn’t go all in and actually do it, but you tried to do it. Not a very powerful stance. Oftentimes when one fails after “trying” they feel freer to just give up. Now let’s look at doing – when you say you are going to do something, there is a resoluteness to both your words and your mindset. No matter how many times you fail or hit the proverbial wall, you have set an intention to do it and by golly you are going to get it done.
So here is the solution – in the amazingly wise words of Yoda, “Do or do not; there is no try.” If you’d like to see just how powerful this concept is, enlist another person to do a small experiment with you. Hold an object in your hand and ask them to try to take it from you (without injuring you, of course!). Give them about two minutes to attempt to remove it from your hand, then restart the exercise, this time telling them to take it from you (remove the “try.”) Notice the difference between the feeling between the “try to take” and “take.”
What have you been “trying” to accomplish? Is there a book you want to write, and you’ve been doing everything you possibly can to prepare to write it, without actually doing any writing (like research, joining a writers’ group, learning more about publishing, etc.) Hugh Laurie, an accomplished actor, most noted for portraying the TV doctor, House, stated in an interview, “It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is no such thing as ready. There’s only now. And you may as well do it now.”
Here’s your call to action – what having you been “trying” to accomplish? Now, what if you simply decided to do it? You let go of that fear of failing at it or looking bad in front of others? Set the intention to get it done and do it – failure is learning, so at the very least, you will learn a lot in the process of DOING it.