Use Reflective Writing to Develop Yourself

A few years ago, I discovered reflective writing, and since then, my personal and professional development has skyrocketed. Reflective writing involves analyzing a life event, thinking about how it has affected you, how it made you feel, and how you could change how you handle it if something similar happens in the future. It is similar to traditional journaling in that it requires descriptive writing; however, that is a small part of the process – the key is in the analysis and applying it to future events.

Reflective writing is a powerful tool in the learning process – it helps you learn much more in a shorter amount of time. I’ll never forget the moment I realized how much I had grown by using the reflective writing process. I had recently written a reflective writing piece on a misunderstanding with a friend. I had also gone back through my journals and identified several other situations that it had occurred in the past. That’s another amazing thing about reflective writing, you can re-examine a situation that occurred 10 years ago, with new eyes and add it to your learning. Anyway, with this fresh in my mind, I found myself in yet another similar conversation with this individual. While she was talking, I felt the familiar defensiveness rise – the old reaction to feeling that she was trying to be difficult yet again and I stopped myself, switched to a perspective of realizing she was coming from a place of fear, and changed how I spoke to her, which led to a win-win outcome for the conversation. If I hadn’t engaged in intentional reflective writing, I’d probably still be locking the proverbial horns with her today.

What if you added the strategy to your toolbox today, who would you be next year with massive intentional learning and growth? Just think of the goals you could accomplish! If you already engage in reflective writing how can you make it even better?

Reflective writing doesn’t have to take up a lot of time each day, and not every day will deliver a deep life lesson. I allot 15 minutes a day and set a reminder for each evening on my phone. Some days I only spend a few minutes, others a lot longer.

What kind of system do you have or are you going to have to focus more effectively on your growth?

048: Interview of Superachiever Dr. Wendy Richard

helping you achieve more in life

In this episode of Quit Bleeping Around, awesome superachiever, author, and former FBI violent crime analyst and senior manager Christina Eanes interviews superachiever Dr. Wendy Richard. Wendy is a media-trained and multilingual Talent Development Specialist whose passion lies in helping others reach their potential. In this episode, Wendy shares many nuggets of wisdom from his experiences in making the most of challenging situations.

If you’d like to learn more about Dr. Wendy Richard connect with him on Linked In.

Episode Credits:

Series Announcer: Seth D. Meyers (sethdmeyers.com)
Host: Christina Eanes (www.quitbleepingaround.com)
Outro: Linnea Sage (www.linneasage.com)
Intro/Outro Music: “Dangerous Dog” by Charlie J. Smith/SI Publishing

Strategies for Sustaining Desired Change

Have you ever tried to break a bad habit or develop a new healthy one? It can be very difficult! The reason for the difficulty is this – we each have an internal set point for our version of normal. Our psyche likes to maintain the set point so much that it initiates an internal self-corrective process if we stray too far from our normal.

This autopilot that we go into to maintain homeostasis in our lives was discovered and coined the “Psycho Cybernetic Mechanism” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz in the 1950s. Dr. Maltz, a plastic surgeon, found that many of his patients didn’t see any changes when they looked at themselves in the mirror after having significant facial reconstruction. They literally could not see the changes in their appearance because it was beyond their “normal.” The brain compensated for what they expected to see.

In our caveman days, this was a great survival mechanism. If our brain noticed something different in our environment, it sent signals to the body to get back to homeostasis. Predator nearby – let’s get to a safe place – back to our area of comfort. Modern day – when changing the number of calories we intake to lose weight or get healthier, we don’t want the brain to go on high alert and self-correct that change, right? Our brain, in trying to help us survive, is getting in the way.

The “normal” set point we’ve created for ourselves may not necessarily be healthy for us, so how do we change it? First step is awareness – understanding that we’ve spent years forging the neural pathways for this behavior in our brain and that it is going to take significant retraining to change that.

The next step is to visualize the new desired behavior with extreme clarity – over and over again. The subconscious mind is the one that is running the show when it comes to your Psycho Cybernetic Mechanism. A cool thing about the subconscious running the show is that it doesn’t know the difference between visualizing the behavior and actually doing it. This is why professional athletes use visualization all the time.

The final step is to do the desired behavior over and over.  Combine steps two and three and do them at the same time for maximum effectiveness.

After much patience and perseverance, you create new neural pathways and your desired behavior becomes a habit. How long it takes is up to you and how deeply ingrained the neural pathways related to the behaviors you want to change are. I can guarantee it’s going to take more than 21 days to develop lifetime habits. They’ve conducted research on the “21-day rule” and found that it is largely false for most habits we want to change.

If you haven’t seen the YouTube video The Backwards Bicycle, I recommend you watch it. An engineer did an experiment on what it would take to retrain his brain to ride a bike in which the handlebars had been altered in such a way that one had to turn them to the left to go right and vice versa. It took him eight months to retrain his brain to ride the bike and only 20 minutes to go back into the old way of doing things. Simply type “backwards bicycle” in the search bar and it will pop up.

047: Isn’t It About Time To Follow Your Passion More Fully?

helping you achieve more in life

What kind of rules have you created about how you are supposed to live your life’s passion? How is that working out for you? In this episode of Quit Bleeping Around®, awesome superachiever, author, and former FBI violent crime analyst and senior manager Christina Eanes implores you to change the story you’ve created for what you’re passionate about if it isn’t working for you and helps you follow your passion more fully.

Episode Credits:

Series Announcer: Seth D. Meyers (sethdmeyers.com)
Host: Christina Eanes (quitbleepingaround.com)
Outros Announcer: Linnea Sage (linneasage.com)
Intro/Outro Music: “Dangerous Dog” by Charlie J. Smith/SI Publishing

046: Interview of Superachiever Elaine Davidson

helping you achieve more in life

In this episode of Quit Bleeping Around, awesome superachiever, author, and former FBI violent crime analyst and senior manager Christina Eanes interviews superachiever Elaine Davidson. Elaine is founder and CEO of Beacon Lane Consulting. She serves as a talent acquisition strategist, performance consultant, and trusted advisor to recruiting and HR leaders around the globe. In this episode, Elaine encourages you to embrace your fears and trust that you have the answer that you need for whatever you are facing.

If you’d like to learn more about Elaine Davidson, visit her website at www.beaconlaneconsulting.com, or connect with her on Linked In.

Episode Credits:

Series Announcer: Seth D. Meyers (sethdmeyers.com)
Host: Christina Eanes (www.quitbleepingaround.com)
Outro: Linnea Sage (www.linneasage.com)
Intro/Outro Music: “Dangerous Dog” by Charlie J. Smith/SI Publishing

Afraid to Proclaim Your Big, Scary Dream?

Isn’t it funny how we can struggle with something for a while, sometimes even years, and suddenly there’s this moment of clarity, or acceptance, or wisdom? This reminds me of the quote from Paul Auster, “Everything can change at any moment, suddenly and forever.” Usually when I hear this quote, I think of external events changing the course of one’s life; however, it is amazing how powerful our thoughts can be – something clicks and, in that moment, we see life differently.

I’m sure we’ve all had at least one of these moments in our lives, if not more. Thoughts so powerful that you realize nothing will ever be the same – the world you know no longer exists and is replaced with a new reality. I recently had another one of these moments as they relate to our big, scary dreams.  Dreams so big and scary to us that we’re afraid to voice them out loud for fear of others perceiving us as delusional. My moment of clarity was that I realized that the “greats” – those people who have accomplished amazing things – were probably thought of as delusional at one time by others.

Why is it important for us to openly proclaim our big, scary dreams? Because our focus becomes our reality – by stating it out loud, it becomes your sole focus and you can’t help but be successful at it because it becomes your reality.  I’m not saying there won’t be failures along the way, but making your dream your focus will get you to where you want to go much faster than you would otherwise.

Here’s your call to action – it’s time to walk through that door of opportunity – what have you been afraid to openly proclaim as a goal or dream? Something so big that it scares you and you are afraid others will think you’re delusional? This is your moment – openly proclaim your goal or dream today because it will become your focus which will then make it your reality and you are another step closer to making it happen. By the way – did I mention I’m going to be a multi-millionaire soon (gulp! – openly proclaimed!)?

045: Do You Hold Personal Strategy Sessions?

helping you achieve more in life

According to Brian Tracy, only about 3% of people actually write down their goals. Unbelievable! If this is true, then far fewer probably hold personal strategy sessions. In this episode of Quit Bleeping Around®, awesome superachiever, author, and former FBI violent crime analyst and senior manager Christina Eanes explores the different types of personal strategy sessions you can hold to supercharge your achievement efforts.

Episode Credits:

Series Announcer: Seth D. Meyers (sethdmeyers.com)
Host: Christina Eanes (quitbleepingaround.com)
Outros Announcer: Linnea Sage (linneasage.com)
Intro/Outro Music: “Dangerous Dog” by Charlie J. Smith/SI Publishing

044: Conversation with Superachiever Deadra Welcome on Reflective Writing

helping you achieve more in life

In this episode of Quit Bleeping Around®, awesome superachiever, author, and former FBI violent crime analyst and senior manager Christina Eanes brings back superachiever Deadra Welcome, CEO of Concerning Learning, to further discuss reflective writing and how Deadra’s recently released book, Don’t Get Left Behind!, helps one step up their game on a shoestring budget.

If you’d like to know more about Deadra Welcome and the tools she discusses in this podcast, go to rescuemytraining.com.

Episode Credits:

Series Announcer: Seth D. Meyers (sethdmeyers.com)
Host: Christina Eanes (www.quitbleepingaround.com)
Outro: Linnea Sage (www.linneasage.com)
Intro/Outro Music: “Dangerous Dog” by Charlie J. Smith/SI Publishing

Yes/No Strategy – An Awesome Tool for Tough Decisions

We’ve all been there – you’re faced with some sort of opportunity or invitation and you must decide whether to say yes or no. It could be a job offer, and invitation to a party, a move across country, or an unexpected trip. If we’re lucky, we either know it is right for us immediately or know it is wrong for us immediately and provide an answer. Here’s the tricky thing though – it’s not always evident at first glance on how we should respond. What do we do? We use the Yes/No strategy!

This is how it works – after you complete a pros and cons list, and find that that alone doesn’t do the trick, ask yourself: “if I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?” Conversely, “if I say no to this, what am I saying yes to?” This simple strategy includes making a traditional pros and cons list; however, it takes it even deeper because to take advantage of certain opportunities, we must give up others and this amazing tool helps make that crystal-clear. And the beauty of it is that you can use it for any decision.

Let’s say you get an invite for small social gathering happening next week. You quickly run through the pros and cons. Pros – you get to see some friends you haven’t seen in a while, there will be some other valuable contacts present to add to your network, they’re going to have wine (or whatever your favorite beverage is). Cons – you have a very busy week and an even busier weekend and were hoping to chill that night and the social gathering is about 45 minutes of travel time. Still not quite clear on what to do? Well, if I say yes to this, I’m saying no to chilling at home. This simple statement makes it crystal-clear – I can give up one night chilling at home for all the benefits I’m going to get attending the social gathering (based on my values and extroverted tendencies.) If chilling at home is a high value for you, then your answer is still very clear, just in a different way. Make sense?

Try out this strategy today!